HowtoSurviveaHorrorMoviept2If your knitting needles turn up missing, don't just sit there, they make great weapons.
On the other hand don't piss a person off who is kitting, again they make great weapons.
If the town, house, school, hospital, or asylum has a really creepy name, don't go there. Some examples: Salem, Dunwich, Amityville, Elm Street, Crystal Lake
If you hear a noise under the bed, closet, cabinet, wardrobe, basement, or attic, run. Don't investigate it.
Never pick up strangers.
Don't pick on the weird girl with red hair. You may regret it later. (You know how pissed off red heads get.)
Always aim for the head. Not the arms, not the legs, not the torso, the head. Just blow the suckers head off. IF that does not work, your in trouble.
When touring foreign countries, never, never, ever stray away from the tour group. (This also refers to your own country, people are crazy out there.)
If you are an average guy and a beautiful,
HowToSurviveAHorrorMovie Pt 1Don't drink, do drugs, have sex, or anything else uncouth because you will die.
Never buy or rent a house, cabin, or apartment that is next to or on top of a cemetery.
If your child tells you that there is a monster, ghost, talking doll, or anything else scary in the house. Believe them.
If a crazy person tells you the above, believe them.
If you knock the killer/monster out. Hack him into little tiny pieces, shoot him in the head, kill him.
When it seems that you have killed the monster, don't check to see if it is dead. Keep hacking, shooting it. They always get back up.
If a member of your group has been bitten, scratched, cut, or in anyways hurt by a creature, kill them.
If you have been bitten, well same as above.
If you find a plaque, coin, disk, or anything else in a wall or the floor, don't pull it out, it is there for a reason.
Never, never, never, ever split up into groups of two, or go off by yourself.
Don't try your cell phone. It